Michael Donovan Was Here…

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First Impressions

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People get too freaky about first impressions because they want their first to be the best. That’s stupid. Do you REALLY remember your first impression? It was your mom peeing on a stick – her reaction was probably “Ah shit! I’m pregnant! Now my life is ruined! Bah!”

Another first impression: your first physical appearance. Remember how that went? You kicked your mom from inside the womb and she got excited! She started showing everyone “Hey- this little asshat is kicking me! Awesome, right?!” Screw handshakes… I’m going to start kicking people in the nuts and punching them in the tit.

And finally: your first appearance to the outside world: it was childbirth. I don’t even have to go to THAT incident. You’re creating a huge mess, you’re screaming and crying, and you’re trying to tear out your mom’s guts with a rope you attached to your belly while you were eating all her food for the past 9 months. Yep- you definitely made a great first impression there! Imagine an adult walking in to a restaurant with that kind of stage presence…

Needless to say- the world opened its doors to you despite having some terrible ways of presenting yourself. So if you are worried about making a bad first impression: you’re clearly an idiot. Just get your stuff done and stop worrying what others think.

Written by Michael Donovan

17/03/2010 at 10:23 am

Posted in Life, Social

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